Friday, April 9, 2010


2010 has been an interesting one so far.
It's been kind of a carry over of what 2009 was.
But in the same way I feel there is as lot of promise over the rainbow.
Right after my dad found out he was going to be ok.. which was a month long process of crazy-ness for my family.. my mom actually found out she has Parkinson's.
She is dealing with it--day by day. I can see her stress level is higher than normal and she is trying to figure out what she "should do" with her life now that she sees her time as limited before things might get worse. I told her that none of us live forever-and we don't even know what's going to happen tomorrow.. so just live life like she has always lived. My mom raised me with so much passion, love and soul. She married the love of her life. The man she never thought she could be without. She's traveled to Switzerland and all over the world with him. She helps God create beautiful life out of a patch of grass (gardens!).
Her children and grandchildren all love her very much.
I would say that is living. I keep telling my parents that they need to move out here to be closer to me though! I tried the moving back to Wisconsin thing after what happened to my dad, but nothing worked out. It just wasn't in my favor. I guess I am just meant to be a California girl.

Things are hectic though. I have a new place to live in Costa Mesa and I love my roommates.
The landlord is questionable. I came home the other day and my shower was completely torn apart. Ah yes, a leak. This does mean I am getting a new shower though. It is just unsettling having maintenance dudes barge into my room at 7:30am while I am just waking up from my night's sleep. I guess that is what you get when you live in a non-luxury apartment complex and have a 70 some year old woman as your landlord =) She has that smokers voice too. The really hoarse deep smokers voice. Everything you'd imagine a landlord would have. She tried blaming the leak on me somehow, but there was no way it was my fault. I've only lived in this house for a few months. So this week has been hectic as far as my living situation goes.
However, once I have a new shower I think life will go on happily ever after in the household situation.

A few medical things are going on. I am honestly trying to get rid of the medical conditions in my life because in the past year I have had a brain scan (due to migraines), a lung xray (due to the black mold in my old apartment), pulmonary testing (due to the black mold in my old apartment), physical therapy (due to back aches and migraines from my old car accident. Not to mention when they did the MRI for the brain scan they discovered I have scoliosis). I have also been sent to an eye specialist (due to my migraines), a neurologist (also due to my migraines), and lastly - a therapist (because I had a weird psychological reaction to the migraine medication & the inhaler I was on for my asthma).

Well now... I found a lump in my breast. Last week they conducted an ultrasound on me and found a mass which they think is just tissue but its hard for them to tell. On the same day I had a mammogram done which came back negative, but the technicians and doctors insisted I have an MRI done because of my family history & they also said that "anything could be hiding in there" because of my dense tissue. I really appreciate how careful they are being. So tomorrow I will have the MRI of my breast done.

On top of this, when I went home last month I sat in a jacuzzi at a hotel in Milwaukee.
This jacuzzi gave me what they call "hot tub rash"-basically what you get when bacteria from a hot tub gives you an infection. I've had it for over a month and cannot get rid of it.
ugh. So now I have been referred to a dermatologist who I will see in addition to the MRI tomorrow.

I told my work about all of this and they are probably very sick of hearing about all of my "conditions." I am honestly trying my best to start my life over from scratch and make it wonderful. But at the same time, things are just always crazy in my world.
I could probably write a book by the time I am 90.

But overall, my attitude is good. I refuse to get down the way I started to in January. I was sinking into a terrible depression and I don't want to be that girl again.
I am allowing myself to be social and surrounded by friends, attend church, and have even decided to start my cupcake business on the side (Amanda Cupcake)! The website is

Even though making beautiful cupcakes can be a challenge, it is probably one of the most rewarding challenges I have ever faced in my life. I have such a strong passion for cupcakes, cakes and cookies. They are like blank canvases to me. That people can taste. And they taste amazing. Isn't that the best art piece ever?! An amazing tasting art piece?!

So I am keeping my head up. Sucking all the juice out of life and making plans for my future.
The best thing is that the plans aren't too overwhelming. I am taking each plan step by step..being patient..(not too patient though!) and seeing where everything goes.

The End
But only for now..because it's like 11pm on a Thursday night before my MRI.

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