Sunday, October 17, 2010

A Romantic Picnic in The Park

Yesterday, (and I still can't believe it still isn't today) I was 31 years old, but still looked like I was in my twenties. It was a fall day in Wisconsin.  Unusually warm, in the seventies. I was at that in between place in my life having just moved out of California and trying to adjust to the small town life for a little while.  A bright vintage diamond ring on my finger, engaged to Dan.  Just bought "the" wedding dress earlier this week. 

Our romantic rendezvous in the park.
The name of the park doesn't matter.
It's just this time in our lives that matters.

The color of the leaves changing.  I can't stop staring at the leaves.  For the past few years I've been so concentrated on palm trees and the Pacific Ocean that I have forgotten the feeling of wanting to jump into a pile of leaves and play.
Laying on a picnic blanket under a willow tree, eating heart shaped peanut butter & jelly sandwiches.
Dan & I together.  Watching the bride across the pond take pictures with her groom.
Laying on top of Dan, Dan on top of the blanket. The sun was catching his eyes just right so they were sparkly blue.  The roses Dan brought for me resting up against the tree.

This was one of our "moments" that we'd remember forever.
The moment before we kiss after sweet vows proclaimed in front of our families.
Before Mr. & Mrs.
Before we launch our very much earned and hopeful careers.
Before the baby bump, I am predicting probably not as expected.
Before the dream house near the city.
Before raising a family.
Before the gray hairs or the crows feet..or the beer belly!

This was one of those dates we will talk about when we are lucky enough to grow old together.

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Butterfly Palace

This big and beautiful butterfly loved me. He was the mysterious blue one everyone was trying to touch but couldn't.

I was so blessed to have this one moment with the one butterfly I'd been eyeing all day long.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”-Robert Brault.

Things that I adore. And I hope you do too.

Naps on a Sunday afternoon. Curling up next to you and you feel warm. I can hear your heart beat.

Taking a bath before bedtime. The skin on my feet gets wrinkly from soaking in the water for too long.

The sound of the city or the television humming. They both put me to sleep.

Waking up to make pancakes in my kitchen. Especially if we use cookie cutters to make pancake shapes.

Breakfast in bed is even better.

Road Trips because we feel like it. I hug you in the driver's seat at the Shell Station, I feel like a teenager.

Celebrations for any reason.

Clean white t-shirts~especially when you wear them.

You, welcoming me home with a smile at the airport.

The ringlets my hair naturally forms when I don't brush it.

My bubble gum pink lipstick makes me feel alive and pretty.

A beautifully wrapped gift. Waiting for me at the front door.

De~ja~vu because it's fun to figure out where I have experienced this feeling before.

Most of the population still calls us "kids". I'd rather be young & wise.

Window shopping and daydreaming.

I Love Lucy.

My orange tabby cat Sprite~especially when she gets fat.

Jet lag. It's exciting because you only have it when you travel to a mysterious & far away place.

You, throwing your arms around me in the kitchen while I cook. Especially when it's a surprise.

Sprinkles. On almost anything sweet.

Indian Summers.

But I love fall. Nothing is better than to sit and watch the leaves whirl around indecisively.

A compliment from a complete stranger.

Comfortable Silence.

The mystery and romance of tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Even though I am quite girly.....

I don't scream at tiny little things I am enthusiastic about (although I think that girls that do that are really cute). 

I keep all that inside in a pretty little ball. The ball is made up of sprinkles, crumbs from my favorite cupcake, hankies from my dear grandma, teardrops I have held in, bobby pins, an internal camera, breaths that I have saved for really momentous awe inspiring occasions, a mini Eiffel Tower replica from Paris, sequins and sparkles I have left behind in many places...

If I get close enough to you, the pretty little ball releases a sparkle once in awhile.
I might have to tell you that I see a sparkle on your face. Or maybe I'll just look at it in the light and smile because I know I've really graced your presence if a sparkle has landed on your skin.

Or you might tell me that you found a bobby pin on the floor.  When you found it you remembered me putting my hair up in the bathroom.  Then you proceed to tell me that I always leave bobby pins behind~and somehow they end up on the living room floor. It is a mystery. But it makes you happy because you knew I was there.

I guess I'm not verbally loud.
My voice is actually pretty quiet.

But I will use some of those breaths I save for an amazing time laughing quite exuberantly with you.
And yeah, you should feel special.

When we go on a trip somewhere I might just get you a cheesy souvenir like the mini Eiffel Tower.
Even though the souvenir may sit in the closet, collect dust.  The best thing is that you will find the souvenir one day and all the wonderful yummy memories will come flooding back to you. You will feel warm.

My nose can get sniffly once in awhile. But there is no one other than my late grandma Fran who can hand me a hanky. So when you hand me a generic Kleenex, I tell you the story about what a vivacious and glamorous woman my grandma was.  So vivacious and glamorous that she handed me beautiful embroidered hankies to wipe my snotty nose with. 

I might ask you to go to the bakery with me to stare at all the beauty of the cupcakes. It probably will be for longer than a minute.  I love how pretty they are. I think it is because cupcakes are beautiful and miniature treasures that taste so good.  You'll appreciate sitting outside the bakery, smelling the wonderful scent of the cupcakes with me. Especially if it is sunny.

You might even get bored with the fact that I take pictures of almost everything.  You'll laugh about my scratched up camera because I have taken it everywhere with me~even as far as Hong Kong.  You'll listen to my crazy but serious daydreams of living off of all my talents, and never having to work corporate again.  Then I'd romantically escape with you to travel the world.  We'd  learn about our own lives through meeting people who have real stories to tell.  We don't even have to become famous. Just plain happy knowing there is not one thing we would ever regret.

I am not quite sure where the tears fit in.  Tears are unexpected. Is it cheesy to say that I will cry on your shoulder? I'd rather say that if we are ever close enough, I hope you still think I am pretty with all my mascara running down my face after a fierce cry.  You will definitely put up with me sometimes breathlessly bawling in the darkness of a movie theater.   However, the tears would be amazing if it was something dramatic-like my tears camouflaging themselves during a rainstorm.  Or maybe I can wear my oversized sunglasses to hide the tears.  Just like a movie star! 

I'd rather we laugh so hard that tears stream down our face.
In a library. Sssshh. Be quiet.
That would be great.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

My mom knocked on the door of my bedroom and said she felt lonely..

She asked me, "You know, that lonely feeling? Don't you feel that way sometimes?" She continued, "I was sitting out on the back porch in the sun, and suddenly I felt a rush of loneliness which is why I came in here to see you." She laid down on my bed.

I asked her why she felt lonely. She didn't know. The sun was out, it was an unusually warm October day. She had been sitting on the back porch thinking, and the loneliness crept in.

I can tell my mom is happier here with me in the house.
But I had no idea that she was happier just to sit beside me.
I guess I realized that's what we need when we are lonely.

Something as simple as a lovely friend to sit beside--no matter what the weather forecast looks like.