Saturday, May 28, 2011

My Annual Wish List

It's my birthday in a few weeks.
June 12th.

I don't care how "old" I get, I LOVE birthdays!
They are an opportunity to celebrate LIFE.
With the people that I LOVE.
I get to eat SWEET things.
Fall upon random SURPRISES every where.

My birthday is my favorite holiday.

Every year I make a WISH LIST.
Sure, people can use it as a guide to buy me something nice if they want to. :) I'd be happy with that.

But creating a wish list helps me to organize my dreams, my wishes, and my wants for the next year to come.
And it keeps me DREAMING.

So here it is. My annual wish list.

Pairs of Sequin and Rhinestone Platform Pumps.
I have been eyeing them for a long time, and they are so BEAUTIFUL. ♥
There is this fun shop on Etsy called Taylor Says and she sells gorgeous shoes.

Sony A33 DSLR Camera.
My beautiful expensive SLR camera broke about a month ago :(
It is what I use to take beautiful cupcake photos.
So I am in desperate need of a new and wonderful camera.
This is the camera that is tempting me.

A spa day. Anywhere.
I'd love one of those "spa retreat" vacations.
But even a trip to a spa for an entire day would be exactly what I need.

This website-The Cupcake Tower has amazing cake pop towers.
This one is reversible. So you can use it for cake pops & cupcakes.
Cupcake Towers just bring all the beauty and yummy-ness of my cupcake creations together.
(Amanda Cupcake)

An edible image printer.
So I can make even more personalized cupcakes & cakes.
The possibilities would be endless with this!
I ADORE this store.
I just FREAK OUT when I am here.
So a Gift Certificate to Sephora..
A Shopping Spree to go crazy with fun makeup
would be fabulous.
This is the more pricey wish..
But I really want a Macbook Pro.
They are best for creative people ♥
I've wanted one for a long time.
I am hoping my business can take off..
so that this year will be the year the Macbook Pro becomes a reality for me.
An IPOD Touch.
Another expensive wish. ♥
That I really want to have happen.
I've never really had an official IPOD.
And I've always wanted one.
Yes, I still listen to the old skool CDs.
But I'd much rather my music be pocket portable.
Even better than carry-a-boom-box on my shoulder portable.
A membership to Bag Borrow Or Steal. (Otherwise called Avelle)
So I can Rent beautiful designer items, and be fickle about it.
No commitments needed.
Just fun and fashion. ♥
There is this website I love.
Called Fancy Flours.
It is the equivalent of Sephora for me,
but in cake decorating supplies.
I would love to buy that store out for my birthday.
Or at least have a lot of shopping spree fun!

I want Ellen Degeneres who is my favorite comedian of all time to eat one of my cupcakes this next year.  I am already planning on sending her one of my cupcake kaleidoscopes.  It would literally be my dream come true for her to eat one on her show. She has made me laugh so hard to the point actual tears since I was a tween!
A box of handmade cupcakes by someone who loves me.
I always make cupcakes for other people :)
But I would love to receive handmade ones in a pretty box from a friend..
or even a group of friends who got together to make them.
That would be even better.

Sleeping Beauty "Aurora" Apron.
I know you..I walked with you once upon a dream.
Another favorite sold on Etsy.
Shop:  Lover Dovers Clothing

Yes, I've always wanted someone to throw me one.
It just shows how much someone loves you when they
take time to throw you a surprise party.  It really has to be planned well.
And just think.. a bunch of warm faces in the same room welcoming me?
Life can't get much better.
Someday..there will be a surprise party in my future.
Not sure if it will be this year.
But I can keep hoping and dreaming.

Champagne for breakfast.
And a very long breakfast..out under the sun.
Welcoming me to the first day of the rest of my life.

Plane tickets to somewhere fabulous.
Or even someone to steal me away and take me away Calgon style.

 A love letter from James Franco.
Ok, maybe just a love letter in general.
A very smart and wise and funny sounding love letter.
That I will want to keep forever.
This is why James Franco crept up in my mind.
His brain is kind of my ideal man brain. :)

..And last but not least, a vision of the ideal birthday:

Sunday, May 15, 2011

If the world ended in a week, what would I do?

I was just watching the news and it spooked me a little bit.
There were these long faced men saying that the world is going to end this next Saturday May 21st.
That is why I hate the news. It is always negative and depressing.
I refuse to watch it in the morning, and start my day that way.

I am not ready for the world to end! I am 31 years old, and I haven't even crossed half the things off on my bucket list.
If I really *knew* for sure that the world was going to end in exactly one week, what would I do..or to make it even more broad..what WOULD I have done?

If the world doesn't end in a week, this might inspire & remind me that I need to stop waiting to live..and LIVE. ♥ Right now.

I would finger wave my hair Reese Witherspoon style (aka Water for Elephants)
and befriend a sweet & beautiful elephant. I love that they are such giant animals but are so gentle and intelligent.

Take a couple of months off of my life,
visit my friend in Switzerland, and travel to the neighboring countries/cities.

I have always dreamed of having a beautiful home
A lot of really fun and fabulous friends
None of us would be too busy to have dinner parties together.
Breakfast for Dinner.  Candy for dinner. Cupcakes for dinner. Ice Cream for dinner.
And the table would always look beautiful,whimsical..
Guests could even arrive in costumes or wigs.

I've always wanted to help OPI come up with new nail polish colors. ♥

Or just have one of those random days of love I used to share
doing almost nothing but loving it. I don't think I've had one
of those since I was like...19.  But maybe that is what young
love is about?  Magical days together with no worries in your mind.

Like this: 

I would finally let go.
And just be the Amanda that I've always wanted to be.
Hmm.. isn't that why I am creating this list?

I'd dress up like Cher for Halloween.
I keep saying I am going to but never do.
But I wouldn't be the cheap costume store looking Cher.
People would think I was the real thing.

I would fly to New York just to eat a sundae at Serendipity.

I want to spend time with a child...
it doesn't even have to be my own.
My niece & nephew are fun.
But I'd love to cuddle an orphan..
this is actually one of my biggest dreams ever.

I believe that we need love to survive.
And everyone deserves to be loved.

I really want to take a beach vacation.
I have never been on a tropical vaca.
I am talking Tahiti.. Fiji...Hawaii.
Cocktail in my hand
Sand is too hot under my feet
but I don't care.

Wear high heels almost everyday.
No matter what I am doing.
It looks pretty.
I have kind of forgotten about that since I live in Wisconsin.
It is much easier to slip on the Uggs or flats.
But my legs look much prettier in heels.

Side by side with my cupcake business..write a children's book. ♥
I have ideas.
I just don't know where to begin.

and this goes for my dad too ♥
 if the world was ending in a week, I would show everyone as much love as I could possibly generate.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

It was Enchanting To Meet You.

This past weekend I went to visit a friend who has terminal cancer  .His name is Ken. And his wife's name is Marcia. They own a beautiful B&B on acres and acres of land. They create everything from this land-jars of jelly, fresh veggies for dinner, freshly squeezed juice. The name of the B&B is perfect: "The Enchanted Valley." In Cross Plains, Wisconsin.

I have special memories of my own there. I remember the first time I visited the place and it was so serene and beautiful. Ken and Marcia were so charismatic, magical, and loving. Sometimes I believed that when I left the house, Marcia and Ken would disappear because they were actually not human but instead angels, inviting me there to better my life in some way.

It has been 7 years since I faithfully visited their B&B, but I have always kept in contact with Ken & Marcia.Mainly because the last reason I visited, I hugged them and told them they were like my third set of grandparents. That feeling has stuck with me and never left.

Marcia sent me a pretty desperate sounding email a few weeks ago, and it sounded like she was battling a lot of emotional stress.

I knew then that Ken was dying, and I had to go see him before it was too late. So this last weekend I went to The Enchanted Valley all by myself to see Ken & Marcia. I helped Marcia with things she needed around the house. Like the dishes, squeezing grapefruit for fresh juice in the morning. I put sheets on my own bed. I woke up early on a Saturday morning and went to the State Street farmers market in Madison to buy Ken & Marcia a new plant they could add to their beautiful yard. The patio we used to sit on outside to eat breakfast together was dusty and dark. The patio furniture was covered in plastic. There were no heart shaped french toast pieces for breakfast, and I found myself helping Marcia squeeze the grapefruit for fresh juice in the morning. Such a small thing was such a huge help to her.

Post it notes from hospice were stuck on the walls of the house.

Ken was so tired, his eyes would shut in the middle of a conversation. While the words escaped his mouth, his eyelids were closed. I felt him slipping away, and like a part of him was already in another place.

The hard thing to face is that he told me he wasn't ready yet, he still had a lot more he wanted to do here.

Marcia revealed her worries to me over moonlight & a cup of chai in the room off the kitchen.She tried to lay out her life to me and the plans she had for it after he was gone. Her eyes were dry with no tears because she said she had already done most of her grieving. Although sometimes the grief shocked her all at once with no warning. Every once in a while she'd ask me, "Do you think Ken can hear me? I hope not." And she'd look off in the direction of his bedroom.

I have known people who have passed from cancer. I even remember the night my grandma passed away from cancer when I was four years old. I saw this weird light that resembled a disco ball on the ceiling of my room and I swear it was her saying good-bye. I started crying because it was sort of creepy. Then my dad came up to my room to comfort me. I remember him carrying me in his arms, and told him that my grandma was up in Heaven now, smiling down at us. Where I got that from being four years old I don't know.

What I have never experienced is what it is like to actually watch someone pass away from cancer.Someone that you have experienced sweetness and the energy of life with. Ken was always passionate about life, always wanting to move on to the next thing.

Ken loved his life out in the "Enchanted Valley" and had more plans of farming, harvesting, and enjoying the land.

But here he was, lying in a recliner. Shadows that couldn't be erased were cast over the bones on his face.....And the only thing I could do to show him love is to touch his elbow. Or make sure I gave him a huge hug the moment I saw him.

To show him that I wasn't afraid of him, or afraid of the cancer that was killing his body. I wanted to show him my love through it all.

I hope my visit with Ken brought him some light. Or something. Even if my visit was only for two days. I know it brought me something. A chance to give my love to Ken & Marcia. An opportunity to visit the authentic Amanda who is very soft, tender-hearted, and warm.

A few times while I was there I felt sick, and had trouble sleeping. The air was so thick with life, death, sickness, bitter sweet love, and change. I found myself waking up in a sweat with a stomach ache, all alone in the big fluffy B&B bed. I couldn't help but wonder if I was feeling some of Ken's pain at that moment. All I can do now is pray that Ken is comforted through this time, that he finds peace in letting go. That this life here isn't all we have, and he probably has an even better "Enchanted Valley" in his future. I left him a nice note in the B&B Guest Book. I told him it was very "enchanting" to meet him. I hope he read it, and knows that it is true.♥

A Vision Board Blog of how I view the Enchanted Valley: