Wednesday, August 26, 2009

To You.

To those who I have lost somewhere between the Fox River Mall, the Grand Canyon..LAX....this one goes out to you.

It seems so long ago I sat with you in a coffee house on a cold Wisconsin evening. Drinking coffee under a dimilit light convinced me I was a wise adult. I hated coffee. I liked you so much that I pretended to like coffee so that we could pretend to have a deep conversation.
We were going to take on the world. I think I was 18.

And him. Your future husband. He became my friend too.
He has always been such a ray of light, a ball of energy, and one of the tightest huggers I have ever known. I loved his mom too. I gave her a pedicure once. She told me I was classy. I still carry her compliment with me and make sure that it remains true in my daily life.

When I witnessed your marriage to him, I wished that I could find the same happiness that you found with him.
I even caught the bouquet at your wedding reception.

Our friend. Her. She and I always caused trouble. From the time we blew up hot dogs in the the time we posed for a photo next to a giant velvet martini glass in my living room. Her. She convinced me to stop my car, jump out, and dance to Milli Vanilli on the side of the freeway. I know it's still on video somewhere. Her. I loved her. She never listened to my advice and I am afraid she will never quite know how much I do understand her.

Him. The guy who posed with us next to the martini glass and witnessed the Milli Vanilli scene. He was dressed up like a nun. It was Halloween. What on earth happened to him? He was the good guy. I think my life will almost be complete if I can at least talk to him one more time. He always disappeared around conflict.

Me. I moved to California six years ago. Six years seems like an eternity.
But I am still from Wisconsin. I still love Wisconsin.
To be truthful there will always be the soft part of me that wants to throw it all away and move back to Wisconsin to be with the ones I love.

But you see now time has forced us all to move on.
There are babies. New families. Boyfriends. New cars. Mortgage payments. Careers.
Are we really adults?

Somewhere between LAX and The Fox River Mall my heart broke a little bit from missing you. Life has never been the same since.

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