Hall Pass Schmall Pass

I saw the preview for this movie -- Hall Pass -- a few months ago in the theater and it left a bad taste in my mouth. Now it is out in the theaters and I hear people saying how funny it was.
To summarize, a wife gives her husband a "Hall Pass" defined as: a week to mess around with any woman that he wants to with no questions asked. She does this to save the "restlessness" of their marriage. Huh?

Maybe I am jaded-or taking this too seriously because I have seen too many marriages that I thought would last forever break up with infidelity as the cause. Mainly in my generation. Every time this happens to a friend..or someone that I knew I am completely devastated and it breaks my heart!

Can someone please explain to me why this movie was so attractive?

I know that one of the trends in this day and age is to daydream of a place we could never go, but want to go. Then make it happen in movies, magazines, or television, or even places (like Las Vegas, resorts, hotels, bars, etc). So is this where we want to go? A meaningless place with the lack of old hollywood romance, or class?

Movies are known to start trends. If this movie is part of the trend of it being okay for your significant other to give you a "hall pass" for a week.. what is going to happen to the next generation?'

Will marriage even exist?

Not even saying that marriage has to exist for life to be great-and if it isn't for you, then that's cool.

I am a firm believer that you only get married if you know it's going to last and if you have passion behind it.
Just like you would have passion for anything else in life-travel, your career, etc.

But what about people like my grandparents-who I look through old scrapbooks of sweet classic valentines..and know that they stayed together through thick and thin for 60 years?

Sure, maybe they flirted with other people but it was in a joking, sweet and non harmful way.

What does it say for the future generation if something as beautiful .. but serious.. as marriage is trashed publicly again and again?

I'm less like Martha Stewart and more like Lucille Ball....

Right now I am sitting at home with this awful flu thing
I feel better for a few hours, and then I am down and out in bed.

When I am sick it is good time to treasure silence that isn't "allowed" in a normal 9-5 day..or 40-60 hour work week.

You know your job isn't right for you when you wish you would get sick just so you could sleep in a day!
That's what I used to wish for..and it is sad that a lot of people find themselves wishing for the same thing.

Life shouldn't be about just sitting, hoping, and waiting for some time that you can steal away for yourself.
Especially if it means that time is spent sweating, then freezing, coughing, and drugging yourself up on Theraflu!

But what I did enjoy about my flu this time..
was watching I Love Lucy.

Dan gave me the first season on DVD for Valentine's Day because I adore Lucille Ball so much.
Because I had the flu I was able to lay down in a fluffy bed and watch her black and white picture shine throughout my dimlit bedroom.

I laughed so hard..
What ever happened to actresses like Lucille Ball?
Who didn't have to wear silicone breast implants, scandalize her world with a spontaneous sex tape....or be an heir to someone famous. She was famous because she had talent, and she was a true inspiration!

Once in his life, every man is entitled to  fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead.

Her petite body was covered up with polka dots, aprons or robes.
But when she revealed her hourglass tiny dancer on stage, it was like watching a beautiful peacock display their feathers..for a fleeting moment!

With the magic of an action or a word, she just made people laugh.
I am sure she made people live longer.
She had this God - given gift to make people laugh, and she shared it with everyone.

And I am thinking that she may have even helped me heal today!
So cheers to you, Lucille Ball!
Cheers to things that make me laugh...
make me feel young..
silly...
brave enough to try anything...
and very aware that imperfection can be beautiful.

“I’m not funny. What I am is brave.”
“It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.”





My friend Alicia dressed up as Ricky one year for Halloween..and me--as Lucy ♥

Sometimes you just need to escape for awhile......

I remember when I interviewed for a designer position with a pretty successful company. (Not that long ago).
I was stung by the woman who interviewed me.

She lectured that to even be considered talented enough to be a designer, I needed to show my passion for it.  I needed to stay up all night sewing up, thinking of, and creating new designs.  Even if they were on my off hours.  One of her last statements to me was that she didn't really see how I was a creative person at all, and she didn't believe that I was a true designer. I had nothing to show her.
I hoped that I might be able to take something from this later on in life.
After all, everything happened for a reason, right?

I left the interview standing strong, but I don't remember the walk to my car.
I guess I had turned the keys in my car at some point, because I was driving now.
And just like in all the wonderfully dramatic movies you would ever imagine, I turned the steering wheel, crying behind my heart shaped sunglasses.

What she said was sort of true.  What wasn't fair is that I once was a creative person, but at this time in my life, I was drained of every ounce of inspiration. 

I had put all my energy into my 9-6 job while juggling a million other dramas that popped up uncontrollably. 

I wanted a life where I didn't have to work..so I could just have my freedom to create whatever I wanted..all day long. 

......Or travel to exotic places, and pet wild elephants, pose in distant blogs with beautiful leopards..or even spend the day holding babies in orphanages who needed love to grow.

It's been awhile since the interview where I was turned down, and a lot has happened since then.
It has just so happened that my family & I have all been ill in some serious way at different times throughout the the past year which forced me to move from California to Wisconsin (where my family lives).

My life pleaded for silence. The past seven years of my life had been fun in a lot of ways, and at the same time chaotic.  I needed to slow down, heal, and clear my mind. 

Moving to Wisconsin has been a huge challenge for me.  I miss California, my friends on the West Coast, the fresh sushi, the frozen yogurt bars on every corner. The *warm* weather. The glamorous palm trees. The *independence.*  But the things that are coming back to me here are priceless.

I get to sleep in. I remember when I worked 9-6 and I always wished that I could snuggle under my blankets and go back to sleep.  This sleep is so healing for me.

My parents sing a lot with me around. They sing and they dance. I don't know if they did this without me here, but when they sing & dance, I know that they are happy.

I get to see my four year old niece and my almost two year old nephew in person.. a lot more.
I babysit. I hide under tents of blankets and cuddle with my niece Gaia. We dance in her living room even when there is no music.  Our imagination is the music.  It kills me softly because she hugs me and tells me she loves me every single time I see her.

I've met some really interesting people (I always try to everywhere I go).

I've even met this girl through her amazing blog, while researching cupcake recipes because her blog name just so happens to be:  Sparkles and Crumbs.  The name is pretty ironic, considering my love for cupcakes, and because people always joke that if they find a sparkle on their skin some where, Amanda has been "here." ;) It is the essence of her blog that inspires me.  They say that you stumble upon certain people at the moment that you need them for a reason.  I needed her blog.   Her blog is so happy, joyful, free..and well..as bizarre as it is almost perfectly defines the genuine *me* that I had lost in the chaos.

I found Sparkles and Crumbs one of the first days I had moved back to Wisconsin.

Going through each passage lights up a sparkler somewhere in me..maybe my spirit, maybe my mind.. probably both.

It's been about 5 months since I moved back to Wisconsin.

For the first time in about four years, my creativity is vibrant and alive again.

Amanda Cupcake (my cupcake business) is about to launch as an LLC. I am going to give it a month or so until I go through all the steps.  I am going to rent a commercial kitchen and start as a cupcake catering business. Weddings, parties, events..yes! http://www.amandacupcake.blogspot.com/
I have also discovered my love for teaching my cupcake skillz to the toddlers..the kids..the tweens and the teens.  I learn something from them, and they learn something from me. 
I know that when I open up my bakery, I want it to be an interactive place, where people can take cupcake baking/decorating classes.  I want to throw themed cupcake parties for any special occasion. 
I pray that Amanda Cupcake will bloom into a beautiful and successful bakery someday, no matter what the location is.

Amanda Couture-This is where the very bluntly honest interview helped me.  I have always been a designer in my own mind. But terrified of the sewing machine.  Why? I am not sure.  I just figured something out.  The sewing machine is just a way of stitching things together.  (You would think I would know that since I worked in the fashion industry for the past 7 years of my life!)  So, I am happy to say that I conquered my fear of the sewing machine and just created some fun and new "altered couture" designs for my friends and family.  I even purchased a Barbie so I can start designing Barbie clothes.  Right now the designs are for fun.. but if I ever want a job as a designer, I actually have "something to show." And now I am staying up all hours of the night, sewing my heart out, and making my concepts come to life. Honestly, the fear of the sewing machine is something I never thought I could conquer. Even in fashion design school my sewing teacher used to laugh at me because I was so terrified of it. Not anymore.

Amanda Couture legwarmers created from a sweater
added eyelet ruffles & sequin trim to make it fun for my four year old niece!

I now have so many ideas filtering through my mind that I even see them in my sleep, and am impatient to get to them all!

Lesson learned this far:

To any of you

who are afraid of making a change..

stepping into the unknown..

Yes..

That is a scary place.

But I can tell you..

That everything happens for a reason..

And gradually, the little lights on your path will start to light up. ♥