2 Years Ago, I Left California for Wisconsin♥

I moved back to Wisconsin from California exactly 2 years ago today and I had no idea where my life was headed, I was ready to re-invent myself. 

If I would have looked through a glass ball and gazed at where I am now, I never would have believed it.

But I would never change a thing. I have more true, genuine peace & joy in my heart than I've ever had before. I love the people in my life, and the people I continue to meet.

I'm single and for once I am okay with being that.  This leaves room for the right guy instead of "Mister Right Now".  I am honestly excited that the opportunity of falling madly in love with someone new and wonderful and *healthy* for me in my future still lies before me. (Because that's the only kind of man I'll let in from this day forward). ♥

I may not be rich financially (yet..).. but I am rich with love from my family, and the friends I have met. Especially in the last year.

I'm about to move into a 2 story farmhouse. Just me! In the middle of the country. Shiny new bamboo floors not walked upon by my bare feet yet.  Two kitchens, sparkly breakfast at tiffany blue walls, and a hand-painted mural on the wall!  I'm about to share this place with people who want to eat my cupcake creations.  I'm ecstatic, proud, and scared to death! ♥ Story here.

(source of this art: betterforthechange)

So many people have their "backup". You know-the husband, the boyfriend, the second job perhaps?   I've got complete faith as my back-up.   Just like I had complete faith when I moved back home a few years ago.

I just think it's funny that two years ago I was making a huge leap, I was blinded by my next step.

Now I'm here again. ♥ I am so excited to meet my next two years. Not just my next two years of cupcakes..but the next two years of *my life*.

This is my vision of it all♥ It'd be great if it really happens this way:

I think I might try my best to paint my bedroom this way ♥

 

 when i believe this, he will find me and never let go♥

but I can't lie, seeing this laying on my couch would be a dream. (especially if it really were James Franco)!

 

 

dinner parties at my home with friends ☻

 

♥

 

somehow i want this to be me! sharing my cupcakes with ellen degeneres and nicki minaj. (I dream big).

 

 

 

Lucille Ball is my role model ♥

 

an amanda cupcake mobile ♥

(art by brian theis of madison, wi)

 

I will go on vacation♥

 

 I'll stay true to this woman♥

(the authentic me).

 

 

♥ this was a fortune I got a few months ago at a restaurant called Chef Chu's.  Sweet. 

My Annual Wish List

It's my birthday in a few weeks.
June 12th.
I don't care how "old" I get, I LOVE birthdays!
They are an opportunity to celebrate LIFE.
With the people that I LOVE.
I get to eat SWEET things.
Fall upon random SURPRISES every where.

My birthday is my favorite holiday.

Every year I make a WISH LIST.
Sure, people can use it as a guide to buy me something nice if they want to. :) I'd be happy with that.

But creating a wish list helps me to organize my dreams, my wishes, and my wants for the next year to come.
And it keeps me DREAMING.

So here it is. My annual wish list.



Pairs of Sequin and Rhinestone Platform Pumps.
I have been eyeing them for a long time, and they are so BEAUTIFUL. ♥
There is this fun shop on Etsy called Taylor Says and she sells gorgeous shoes.





Sony A33 DSLR Camera.
My beautiful expensive SLR camera broke about a month ago :(
It is what I use to take beautiful cupcake photos.
So I am in desperate need of a new and wonderful camera.
This is the camera that is tempting me.



A spa day. Anywhere.
I'd love one of those "spa retreat" vacations.
But even a trip to a spa for an entire day would be exactly what I need.



This website-The Cupcake Tower has amazing cake pop towers.
This one is reversible. So you can use it for cake pops & cupcakes.
Cupcake Towers just bring all the beauty and yummy-ness of my cupcake creations together.
(Amanda Cupcake)



An edible image printer.
So I can make even more personalized cupcakes & cakes.
The possibilities would be endless with this!

I ADORE this store.
I just FREAK OUT when I am here.
So a Gift Certificate to Sephora..
A Shopping Spree to go crazy with fun makeup
would be fabulous.

This is the more pricey wish..
But I really want a Macbook Pro.
They are best for creative people ♥
I've wanted one for a long time.
I am hoping my business can take off..
so that this year will be the year the Macbook Pro becomes a reality for me.

An IPOD Touch.
Another expensive wish. ♥
That I really want to have happen.
I've never really had an official IPOD.
And I've always wanted one.
Yes, I still listen to the old skool CDs.
But I'd much rather my music be pocket portable.
Even better than carry-a-boom-box on my shoulder portable.

A membership to Bag Borrow Or Steal. (Otherwise called Avelle)
So I can Rent beautiful designer items, and be fickle about it.
No commitments needed.
Just fun and fashion. ♥

There is this website I love.
Called Fancy Flours.
It is the equivalent of Sephora for me,
but in cake decorating supplies.
I would love to buy that store out for my birthday.
Or at least have a lot of shopping spree fun!

I want Ellen Degeneres who is my favorite comedian of all time to eat one of my cupcakes this next year.  I am already planning on sending her one of my cupcake kaleidoscopes.  It would literally be my dream come true for her to eat one on her show. She has made me laugh so hard to the point actual tears since I was a tween!

A box of handmade cupcakes by someone who loves me.
I always make cupcakes for other people :)
But I would love to receive handmade ones in a pretty box from a friend..
or even a group of friends who got together to make them.
That would be even better.



Sleeping Beauty "Aurora" Apron.
I know you..I walked with you once upon a dream.
Another favorite sold on Etsy.
Shop:  Lover Dovers Clothing

A SURPRISE PARTY.
Yes, I've always wanted someone to throw me one.
It just shows how much someone loves you when they
take time to throw you a surprise party.  It really has to be planned well.
And just think.. a bunch of warm faces in the same room welcoming me?
Life can't get much better.
Someday..there will be a surprise party in my future.
Not sure if it will be this year.
But I can keep hoping and dreaming.

Champagne for breakfast.
And a very long breakfast..out under the sun.
Welcoming me to the first day of the rest of my life.

Plane tickets to somewhere fabulous.
Or even someone to steal me away and take me away Calgon style.

 A love letter from James Franco.
Ok, maybe just a love letter in general.
A very smart and wise and funny sounding love letter.
That I will want to keep forever.
This is why James Franco crept up in my mind.
His brain is kind of my ideal man brain. :)



..And last but not least, a vision of the ideal birthday:



My Delicious Philosophy.

Imagine going to a museum and you see a piece of artwork.
This artwork means something to you, it calls your name.
What would make this piece of art even better?
If you could eat it! And if it tasted like out of this world unimaginable things.

Like a cloud sweetened with cotton candy.

The cream filling inside of a sprinkled donut.

What if it tasted like how coffee smells?

A cherry jelly belly.

The good stuff in the middle of an Oreo.

How about juicy red strawberries on a hot July day?

An entire pancake breakfast. For dinner.

Sweet and salty.

The chocolate surprise on the bottom of a drumstick.

Can you imagine eating a piece of artwork that tastes like a Milky Way Bar?

What if it tasted like that night you stayed up all night with your best friend eating cookie dough?

Or the cherry on top of your boyfriend's sundae that he hands you because he knows how much you adore cherries?

Maybe it could taste like the time you snuck a scoop of ice cream from the freezer when no one was watching. (At least you don't think anyone was watching).

Or maybe it wasn't a scoop of ice cream but a big scoop of delicious peanut butter right out of the jar?

A soothing margarita that takes you a way to faraway islands.

Or an elegant glass of pink champagne.


This is my "delicious philosophy."
I feel like everything that I create on my little cupcake masterpiece is my way of expressing my artistic side, and sharing my heart.
Then people can eat it! And it warms their tummies.
I especially love the hugs and love I get from people when I deliver the cupcakes.
The moment before they dive in to the goodness.
When their breath is taken away from the beautiful edible delight they see in front of them.
And it's like a dream come true.

The fact that it is pretty makes it yummier.
That is what I have to remind people when they tell me that my cupcakes are too pretty to eat!
I tell them..
"Try it.  Don't be afraid that it is pretty.  That's why I make it pretty, because pretty tastes better!"

http://www.amandacupcake.blogspot.com/

Sometimes you just need to escape for awhile......

I remember when I interviewed for a designer position with a pretty successful company. (Not that long ago).
I was stung by the woman who interviewed me.

She lectured that to even be considered talented enough to be a designer, I needed to show my passion for it.  I needed to stay up all night sewing up, thinking of, and creating new designs.  Even if they were on my off hours.  One of her last statements to me was that she didn't really see how I was a creative person at all, and she didn't believe that I was a true designer. I had nothing to show her.
I hoped that I might be able to take something from this later on in life.
After all, everything happened for a reason, right?

I left the interview standing strong, but I don't remember the walk to my car.
I guess I had turned the keys in my car at some point, because I was driving now.
And just like in all the wonderfully dramatic movies you would ever imagine, I turned the steering wheel, crying behind my heart shaped sunglasses.

What she said was sort of true.  What wasn't fair is that I once was a creative person, but at this time in my life, I was drained of every ounce of inspiration. 

I had put all my energy into my 9-6 job while juggling a million other dramas that popped up uncontrollably. 

I wanted a life where I didn't have to work..so I could just have my freedom to create whatever I wanted..all day long. 

......Or travel to exotic places, and pet wild elephants, pose in distant blogs with beautiful leopards..or even spend the day holding babies in orphanages who needed love to grow.

It's been awhile since the interview where I was turned down, and a lot has happened since then.
It has just so happened that my family & I have all been ill in some serious way at different times throughout the the past year which forced me to move from California to Wisconsin (where my family lives).

My life pleaded for silence. The past seven years of my life had been fun in a lot of ways, and at the same time chaotic.  I needed to slow down, heal, and clear my mind. 

Moving to Wisconsin has been a huge challenge for me.  I miss California, my friends on the West Coast, the fresh sushi, the frozen yogurt bars on every corner. The *warm* weather. The glamorous palm trees. The *independence.*  But the things that are coming back to me here are priceless.

I get to sleep in. I remember when I worked 9-6 and I always wished that I could snuggle under my blankets and go back to sleep.  This sleep is so healing for me.

My parents sing a lot with me around. They sing and they dance. I don't know if they did this without me here, but when they sing & dance, I know that they are happy.

I get to see my four year old niece and my almost two year old nephew in person.. a lot more.
I babysit. I hide under tents of blankets and cuddle with my niece Gaia. We dance in her living room even when there is no music.  Our imagination is the music.  It kills me softly because she hugs me and tells me she loves me every single time I see her.

I've met some really interesting people (I always try to everywhere I go).

I've even met this girl through her amazing blog, while researching cupcake recipes because her blog name just so happens to be:  Sparkles and Crumbs.  The name is pretty ironic, considering my love for cupcakes, and because people always joke that if they find a sparkle on their skin some where, Amanda has been "here." ;) It is the essence of her blog that inspires me.  They say that you stumble upon certain people at the moment that you need them for a reason.  I needed her blog.   Her blog is so happy, joyful, free..and well..as bizarre as it is almost perfectly defines the genuine *me* that I had lost in the chaos.

I found Sparkles and Crumbs one of the first days I had moved back to Wisconsin.

Going through each passage lights up a sparkler somewhere in me..maybe my spirit, maybe my mind.. probably both.

It's been about 5 months since I moved back to Wisconsin.

For the first time in about four years, my creativity is vibrant and alive again.

Amanda Cupcake (my cupcake business) is about to launch as an LLC. I am going to give it a month or so until I go through all the steps.  I am going to rent a commercial kitchen and start as a cupcake catering business. Weddings, parties, events..yes! http://www.amandacupcake.blogspot.com/
I have also discovered my love for teaching my cupcake skillz to the toddlers..the kids..the tweens and the teens.  I learn something from them, and they learn something from me. 
I know that when I open up my bakery, I want it to be an interactive place, where people can take cupcake baking/decorating classes.  I want to throw themed cupcake parties for any special occasion. 
I pray that Amanda Cupcake will bloom into a beautiful and successful bakery someday, no matter what the location is.

Amanda Couture-This is where the very bluntly honest interview helped me.  I have always been a designer in my own mind. But terrified of the sewing machine.  Why? I am not sure.  I just figured something out.  The sewing machine is just a way of stitching things together.  (You would think I would know that since I worked in the fashion industry for the past 7 years of my life!)  So, I am happy to say that I conquered my fear of the sewing machine and just created some fun and new "altered couture" designs for my friends and family.  I even purchased a Barbie so I can start designing Barbie clothes.  Right now the designs are for fun.. but if I ever want a job as a designer, I actually have "something to show." And now I am staying up all hours of the night, sewing my heart out, and making my concepts come to life. Honestly, the fear of the sewing machine is something I never thought I could conquer. Even in fashion design school my sewing teacher used to laugh at me because I was so terrified of it. Not anymore.

Amanda Couture legwarmers created from a sweater
added eyelet ruffles & sequin trim to make it fun for my four year old niece!

I now have so many ideas filtering through my mind that I even see them in my sleep, and am impatient to get to them all!

Lesson learned this far:

To any of you

who are afraid of making a change..

stepping into the unknown..

Yes..

That is a scary place.

But I can tell you..

That everything happens for a reason..

And gradually, the little lights on your path will start to light up. ♥