Thirty Flirty and Thriving!!!!

On June 12th 2009 I turned 30.

I feel a bittersweet twinge of sentiment when I reflect on the past decade-especially knowing that my twenties are behind me and I will never see them again. If someone heard me saying this out loud it would certainly not be in a somber tone.

My twenties were for exploring, growing up, making mistakes and repairing myself from them, experiencing things for the first time, being raw and vulnerable, taking chances, celebrating that I overcame my awkward and mortifying high school years.

Now that I am standing on the edge of my thirties I know more of what I want--even if my plans don't work out how I expected them to. I've learned that God has a plan for me and my way isn't always the best. I still plan on making mistakes because Lord knows I don't know everything and I never will. Mistakes seem to be the best thing that can happen to me. I have grown a little bit taller through each mistake I have made.

I remember being a teenager and my art teacher used my art as an example to the entire class.
She said,
"Amanda has her own style. She starts drawing and doesn't even worry about her mistakes. Instead she works with them and changes what would be an imperfection into something beautiful."

My high school art teacher read me pretty well. I look back on that now and see how much my painting and writing style applies to my life.
I've never been one to look back and regret anything or hate a "mistake" I made.
I am not really even someone who worries all that much because I know that in the end if I make the best of the present situation, it will all work out in some magical way.
(Even if I do cry a lot when something bad happens.. I let it out all out and move on).

So where did time go? I am now a thirty year old woman with a new decade to look forward to. A flawed, imperfect unsure thirty year old woman. Sometimes I still feel like a vulnerable infant when I stand in front of this incomprehensible world before me. At the same time I am really excited to see what this brand new decade brings as I climb uphill.


The Highlights of my Twenties:
..Lost somewhere out here in cyberspace now!

**Falling in Love for the first time.

**My brother's marriage to Courtney.

**The birth of my niece Gaia (who is now 2 1/2) and my new baby nephew Griffin just born last month.

**Getting the opportunity to give my grandpa Carl a hug and a kiss good-bye before he left this earth.

**My parents. Just for being the support that they are and always will be.

**Discovering my passion for cupcakes and displaying my love for art on cupcakes.

**Reuniting with so many of my friends from the past because the world is such a small place. Now they have become friends again to me in my present.

**Living in several amazing places in one decade:

Waupaca-my hometown

Chicago-Short and not so sweet

Green Bay-Really sentimental memories there.

Los Angeles-I've never made a better decision than to move there. It changed my whole life and allowed me to free my true spirit.

Orange County: Working for Billabong, surrounded by opportunity, staring at the beautiful ocean, feeling the grains of sand between my toes

**Discovering Sushi. I don't know what I'd do without it now that I know how yummy it is!

**Traveling to Paris, Germany, Amsterdam, Iceland, Milan, Hong Kong

**Discovering personal trainers and fitness. I was the biggest clutz in my high school years. Now I can do pullups, pushups, squats galore, yoga, pilates, and would love to be considered an "athlete." This was probably one of my best decisions ever as well.

**The third year IMPD program at FIDM. I created a line of denim to sell at Wal-Mart and presented it to VF Corporation. I totally jumped out of my comfort zone to try for this opportunity..and I made it into the top 12!

**Finding and Sharing Love with all different people. I have found that I have a really generous sharing heart. I've shared this with other people and because of that I have established many interesting and fun relationships with friends from all over the world.

**Meeting Jack Nicholson when I first moved to Los Angeles. Face to face. Just me and him in the room. He was wearing his classic sunglasses, and he flashed his famous smile at me to say "Hello." To me, this was a sign I was doing the right thing.

**Living in Burbank, CA. Probably one of the most fun moments ever in my life.

**Walking down the runway as a fashion/hair model. Check that one off my list.

**I am so glad I learned how to enjoy my alone time. I used to never like being alone but now I treasure that small amount of time just as much as I treasure time with friends or loved ones.

**Becoming strong enough to know that it is ok to stand up for myself. I had a really hard time with this as a teenager and in my early twenties. Now I finally have a grip on it.

**Embracing my beauty-even if it isn't perfect. I will take what God gave me and embrace it. The best part..is praying for the inner beauty to shine on the outside.
This does happen.

**Meeting Ben Elgersma at my 10 year high school reunion. I never talked to him in high school. I was so glad I got the chance to know him for a little while after our reunion because he passed away in January of 2008 unexpectedly.
It really taught me the importance of paying attention to the person sitting next to you-because they could just be a treasure worth taking the time to know.

**Discovering Saddleback Church. I think this place will honestly help me set the foundation for my thirties-traveling to Thailand, singing in the choir, meeting amazing inspirational people who genuinely care for others.

**My Red VW Beetle Convertible. I am getting rid of it this August.. but I always dreamed of having this car and for the past 3 years I made it happen!

**Meeting my current boyfriend Dan. I had promised myself that I was not going to have a boyfriend for a good year because of my broken off engagement.
Then Dan came along and he taught me that things don't always go as expected.
I now know that it is possible to experience new love and it is ok to let myself be vulnerable. Even if I am still trying to heal a little bit from my past.

I could go on forever. But these are just some of the highlights of my twenties.
It's been amazing and I can't wait to see what my thirties will bring!


Some photos from my 30th bday celebration:

My New Home.

I just moved April 1st..
it is a big change for me.
The past month has just been insane.
I moved, made this amazing cupcake tower for my boss's goddaughter while moving, sang in Saddleback Choir's Easter services. Needless to say I am now exhausted and could honestly sleep for probably an entire weekend if I let myself.

I am now living in Rancho Santa Margarita, CA (South Orange County).
I am surrounded by beautiful mountains everyday. I promised myself I would never take this breathtaking scenery for granted.
Rancho Santa Margarita is quite different than anywhere I have lived in California.
I started in Los Angeles-a crazy busy blur.
I moved to Costa Mesa in Orange County 3 years later. That was a huge change because it was much quieter, ritzier, and a little less of a melting pot.
Almost 3 years after that I have now moved to Rancho Santa Margarita.
Rancho Santa Margarita is even more quiet. All the stores close early. Even Yogurtland closes an hour earlier than they are supposed to. I practically trip over little kids trying to escape from their mother in the grocery store.

But I am here to save money, free myself of debts, so that I can do what I love and am passionate for-travel.

I live with two great roomies. Their names are Billy and Brandy. They just got married 2 weeks ago in Tennessee. Brandy's dog Beacon is a famous reality TV star. She's been on that "America's Greatest Dog" reality show along with Brandy.
Slowly my cat Sprite and famous doggy Beacon are becoming friends.

The whole environment in this house is very chill.

I know that eventually one day when my curiosity for wandering the world has faded a bit more I can live in a really really nice place by myself or if I have a husband..obviously with him.

So to share some visuals...because I've said enough.
This is the Amandaness that makes up my new living space:



I'm a Genie in a Bottle hm?



You can stay under my umbrella :)



A little something Dan wrote me. Nice hm? I like it.



I love this song by Frank Sinatra.



Getting all National Geographic up in my bedroom.









Playtime.



This painting has always made me yearn for love and happiness.



The best lamp ever. $6.99 at Goodwill in Waupaca! Yeah.



My Memoirs of being Jessica Rabbit (Halloween 2007)



I need to frame this lovely Breakfast at Tiffany's poster of Audrey.

Welcoming Love.

Wow I am truly dizzy and my vision is distorted right now.
I came back from Wisconsin in January and I was crazy depressed..sadly to say, practically suicidal. I just wanted to fall asleep for awhile and get away from the world.

Then I decided to change my life. I decided to hand it over to God, get involved with the Saddleback Choir, take care of myself, plan on traveling a few places that I've always wanted to go.
I really wanted the Australia thing but I guess it wasn't meant to happen. I also decided that I needed to give myself some time to heal.. get rid of the left over pieces of pain..and promised myself that I would focus on the plan for my life instead of trying to seek out a boyfriend. I decided that if God wanted that for me, he would eventually make it happen. For the first time in years I wasn't even looking for a man in my life.

Once I changed my perspective and handed my life over to God it was like he handed me things I never expected would appear in my life.

Ironically, one of these things is a new man. (Even though I said I didn't want one!!!) Yes, I call him a man because he gives me something that no man has ever been able to completely give me.
Time. He always wants to spend time with me.

He brought me tea when I had laryngitis..on the night I was rejected from the Australia trip.
He brought me a vase of orange roses on our second date.
He woke up super early to prepare a dinner that was cooking in a pot roast while we were at work all day. That same night he asked me to be his girlfriend.

He dedicated a song to me on my lunch break as we sat in my VW eating flame broiler.
He didn't even try to make a move on me too fast like so many guys have. This showed me he wants so much more of me than something physical..and he has morals.
We went to see an African childrens' choir sing together and danced in the crowd.
He went to see me sing twice in one weekend in the Saddleback choir.
He showed up at my door step last Friday night without telling me.. to help me pack for my big move! He just called me from my front door and asked me to let him in.
That same night he took a piece of paper out of his pocket and read some romantic Spanish words that he learned from some friends at Billabong (he works in QC with a lot of spanish speaking people). I melted.
His roommate is his best friend...and when we went out for Fish tacos we all said "grace" in a public place before we ate.

I didn't expect any of this..and honestly right now I can say that I am not used to this either.

We'll see where it goes.. but right now.. my head is spinning.. and I have that beginning warm fuzzy feeling inside my heart. It is kinda fluttering. And who knew I could feel this?

When I sat in my living room in January crying hysterically from the pain of losing someone who meant the world to me.. I felt hopeless.

But now I have someone's hand to hold in the line at the grocery store.
Someone who wants to give me a kiss good-bye in public.
More importantly I have someone who told me that if he could give me one kiss hello everyday then his day would be worth it.
Someone whose eyes welcome me when I walk into the room..and light up when we talk.
Someone who calls me "Babe."
Someone I can laugh with.

I feel like I can be happy again.