My New Home.

I just moved April 1st..
it is a big change for me.
The past month has just been insane.
I moved, made this amazing cupcake tower for my boss's goddaughter while moving, sang in Saddleback Choir's Easter services. Needless to say I am now exhausted and could honestly sleep for probably an entire weekend if I let myself.

I am now living in Rancho Santa Margarita, CA (South Orange County).
I am surrounded by beautiful mountains everyday. I promised myself I would never take this breathtaking scenery for granted.
Rancho Santa Margarita is quite different than anywhere I have lived in California.
I started in Los Angeles-a crazy busy blur.
I moved to Costa Mesa in Orange County 3 years later. That was a huge change because it was much quieter, ritzier, and a little less of a melting pot.
Almost 3 years after that I have now moved to Rancho Santa Margarita.
Rancho Santa Margarita is even more quiet. All the stores close early. Even Yogurtland closes an hour earlier than they are supposed to. I practically trip over little kids trying to escape from their mother in the grocery store.

But I am here to save money, free myself of debts, so that I can do what I love and am passionate for-travel.

I live with two great roomies. Their names are Billy and Brandy. They just got married 2 weeks ago in Tennessee. Brandy's dog Beacon is a famous reality TV star. She's been on that "America's Greatest Dog" reality show along with Brandy.
Slowly my cat Sprite and famous doggy Beacon are becoming friends.

The whole environment in this house is very chill.

I know that eventually one day when my curiosity for wandering the world has faded a bit more I can live in a really really nice place by myself or if I have a husband..obviously with him.

So to share some visuals...because I've said enough.
This is the Amandaness that makes up my new living space:



I'm a Genie in a Bottle hm?



You can stay under my umbrella :)



A little something Dan wrote me. Nice hm? I like it.



I love this song by Frank Sinatra.



Getting all National Geographic up in my bedroom.









Playtime.



This painting has always made me yearn for love and happiness.



The best lamp ever. $6.99 at Goodwill in Waupaca! Yeah.



My Memoirs of being Jessica Rabbit (Halloween 2007)



I need to frame this lovely Breakfast at Tiffany's poster of Audrey.

Welcoming Love.

Wow I am truly dizzy and my vision is distorted right now.
I came back from Wisconsin in January and I was crazy depressed..sadly to say, practically suicidal. I just wanted to fall asleep for awhile and get away from the world.

Then I decided to change my life. I decided to hand it over to God, get involved with the Saddleback Choir, take care of myself, plan on traveling a few places that I've always wanted to go.
I really wanted the Australia thing but I guess it wasn't meant to happen. I also decided that I needed to give myself some time to heal.. get rid of the left over pieces of pain..and promised myself that I would focus on the plan for my life instead of trying to seek out a boyfriend. I decided that if God wanted that for me, he would eventually make it happen. For the first time in years I wasn't even looking for a man in my life.

Once I changed my perspective and handed my life over to God it was like he handed me things I never expected would appear in my life.

Ironically, one of these things is a new man. (Even though I said I didn't want one!!!) Yes, I call him a man because he gives me something that no man has ever been able to completely give me.
Time. He always wants to spend time with me.

He brought me tea when I had laryngitis..on the night I was rejected from the Australia trip.
He brought me a vase of orange roses on our second date.
He woke up super early to prepare a dinner that was cooking in a pot roast while we were at work all day. That same night he asked me to be his girlfriend.

He dedicated a song to me on my lunch break as we sat in my VW eating flame broiler.
He didn't even try to make a move on me too fast like so many guys have. This showed me he wants so much more of me than something physical..and he has morals.
We went to see an African childrens' choir sing together and danced in the crowd.
He went to see me sing twice in one weekend in the Saddleback choir.
He showed up at my door step last Friday night without telling me.. to help me pack for my big move! He just called me from my front door and asked me to let him in.
That same night he took a piece of paper out of his pocket and read some romantic Spanish words that he learned from some friends at Billabong (he works in QC with a lot of spanish speaking people). I melted.
His roommate is his best friend...and when we went out for Fish tacos we all said "grace" in a public place before we ate.

I didn't expect any of this..and honestly right now I can say that I am not used to this either.

We'll see where it goes.. but right now.. my head is spinning.. and I have that beginning warm fuzzy feeling inside my heart. It is kinda fluttering. And who knew I could feel this?

When I sat in my living room in January crying hysterically from the pain of losing someone who meant the world to me.. I felt hopeless.

But now I have someone's hand to hold in the line at the grocery store.
Someone who wants to give me a kiss good-bye in public.
More importantly I have someone who told me that if he could give me one kiss hello everyday then his day would be worth it.
Someone whose eyes welcome me when I walk into the room..and light up when we talk.
Someone who calls me "Babe."
Someone I can laugh with.

I feel like I can be happy again.

Amen to that!

This last weekend was a blur. I went through it like I was in a dream.
I spent a lot of time with a certain boy whose company I really enjoy lately.
I enjoyed yogurtland.
I slept in.

I sang for the first time ever on the stage with the Saddleback Church Worship Choir for Rick Warren's services. It was one of the most inspiring things I've ever done with my life.

The thing about standing up there is that I can see everyone in the audience.
As I sing I pull the energy from the crowd-the good, the bad, the pain I see in the eyes of the people. I take in the energy, blend it all up inside my heart and throw it back out there as God's powerful love through my smile, dance, and voice.

I can feel God radiating through my being and I can't stop myself from reaching my hands up to him, to praise him. I let go..and as I let go I feel myself connect with God and everyone in the room.
It is the craziest tingly feeling-better than an adrenaline rush. This has more substance because it is something more powerful than just a physical body.
It is God working through a gift he has given me.

I feel even better when I know my friends are in the audience. I was really flattered that people wanted to come watch the choir perform. In fact one of my friends came to two services. It made me feel really supported and special. Most importantly I was happy to share this passion with them.

My friend came to see me this weekend and she took some photos.
They are really fuzzy and blurry.
I am the girl in the back wearing blue.
How exciting.
My goal is to one day sing a solo up there. I have a feeling it will happen.

Being part of the choir is beautiful though. I stood next to the tenors and as I heard our separate parts harmonizing, blending beautifully together I imagined that this must be a little piece of what Heaven could be like.

My next performance is Easter weekend.. and all the services play live on Saddleback Church's website. So perhaps...I can even share this amazing experience with my friends from afar. I'd love to hear from anyone who gets the chance to watch.

Photos from the experience. Find me. The Blurry Girl on the top row in the Blue.